A Selfie to Keep to Yourself

Yup.  That's me in the jacket & sequins sock covers...

Yup.  That's me in the jacket & sequins sock covers...

A couple of years ago during my first tryst with online dating, I had a little trouble getting my sea legs under me.  Communicating with individuals that I didn't know seemed so awkward.  Who should initiate the conversation?  What's proper protocol to interact with someone online?  How many times should I tolerate blatant assassination of the English language before emailing a link to merriamwebster.com?

It all felt so overwhelming.  Then I saw a guy who caught my eye.  His profile picture showed him to be tall and handsome with caramel colored skin and short, curly, black hair.  Spelling & grammar did not allude him as his profile was perfectly written.  I had two mental fainting spells before sending him a message.

We chatted a bit online before exchanging phone numbers, and transitioning to text messages.  His name was Michael.  Michael Gabrielle.  "What a beautiful name," I commented.  I really did love his name.  So much so that I felt it apropos to divulge my love of MJ to him.   Without further prompting, I sent him a photo of myself dressed up in a "Thriller" costume for Halloween.  In my defense, I thought it would be a great ice breaker - demonstrating that I was the perfect blend of brains, beauty and humor.  Unfortunately, it gave off more of a "sideshow freak" vibe.  I never heard from him again.

On the brighter side of things, I certainly know what NOT to do in the future.  Although my learning didn't help me here.

Girls' Night Out - Part Two (It's Taylor's)

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Last Saturday, I regaled you with my tale of "romance on the dance floor" in Part One of Girls' Night Out.  However, Slick Rick's fancy footwork was simply the introduction to our night.  Taylor's is a place people go to let loose...and let loose they did.  Without further ado, here is another glimpse into my night out on the town. 

Taylor's has two dance floors.  One typically plays Top 40 music while the other tends to have classics from the 80's and 90's.  I love the classics but couldn't really get into the groove of things.  Then it hit me.  They hadn't played any Michael Jackson!  The DJ was taking requests so I slipped into his booth to make mine.  He smiled at me saying, "What do you think I'm playing next?"  Kismet!  Unfortunately, I forgot to check his ring finger. 

Sure enough, my mental love affair with the DJ was not in vain.  The opening bass line to "Billie Jean" filled the room.  Not only was he playing MJ, but he was playing my all-time favorite, super mo-jo song.  I've played this song to prepare for finals, job interviews, first dates and other important moments in my life.  It holds significance.  I swept my feet to the beat and pulled out every MJ Experience for Wii move I could conjure up.  Somehow I ended up moonwalking into an innocent bystander.  He understood.  It is Taylor's after all.   

Jen and I ventured to the more modern dance floor to see what they had to offer.  There were a few people dancing, but we decided to play it cool for a bit.  That was until "The Cupid Shuffle" came on.  An entire room breaking out into a synchronized dance number is irresistible.  We had to join in.  All was well until a 4 inch stiletto met my left foot.  That's my sliding foot for crying out loud!  The offender apologized.  I shrugged my shoulders, smiled at her and limped my way through the rest of the dance number.  After all, it is Taylor's.  The show must go on. My toe is expected to make a full recovery.

A few songs later, we were still going strong in the Top 40 room.  Jen kept motioning for me to look over at a gentleman across the dance floor.  Being over six feet tall, Jen catches all the good stuff.  At 5'4, I appear to be her Cabbage Patch Kid sidekick and can only catch the action when she sits me on her shoulders.   Apparently the gentleman in question grabbed his dance partner's hair and sniffed it as she walked away.  They didn't come together and we were pretty sure he didn't know her. A little weird.  But hey, it's Taylor's.

All in all, it was a night well spent. 

S/n:  I spent a good portion of my day battling a migraine. I celebrated its departure by purchasing a slice of my all time fave Kahlua Cocoa Coffee Cheesecake.  After losing 34 pounds this year, I don't think I've loathed myself and loved life so much at the same time.

The Gloved One

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I promised to give you the good, the bad, and the downright embarrassing so here goes!

Last spring, I was at the grocery store returning an item at the Customer Service counter.  The gentlemen that assisted me was helpful, polite, and kind of cute.  I figured "it wouldn't hurt to get to know him a little better."  Something about his demeanor and charisma intrigued me.  I decided to go in for the kill. 

Using pick up lines is not my forte.  I don't know the first thing about it (other than when it is executed poorly). Searching my mind for a great conversation piece, an idea came to me as my hand touched a textured object in my pocket.  Let me give you a little background about me: I am a HUGE Michael Jackson fan and have been since the age of three.  I own three Thriller jackets, remain undefeated in the MJ Experience for Wii and have been known to break out in full on choreographed dance numbers just about anywhere.  Somehow, my sequins glove ended up in the pocket of my VS Love Pink hoodie.  I thought to myself, "Oh yeah, this is going to be epic."  That was an understatement.

I discreetly slipped the glove onto my hand, waved, and input my payment method into the machine.  The look on his face was priceless...and concerned.  He incredulously asked, "Why do you have that on?"  My quick response was, "It's something that I do sometimes."  He gave me the 'weirdo' face, and we avoided eye contact throughout the rest of the transaction. 

My friends had a FIELD DAY with this one.  Everything from "What were you thinking" to "what handbook or article did you get that from" came my way.  All I could muster up as a response was, "It seemed like a good idea at the time?"  The best part is that I still see him from time to time.  I'm not sure if he remembers the incident, but I always feel this awkwardness when we catch a glimpse of one another.  Then again, who can forget such a memorable ode to "the gloved one".