The Bluest Eye

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A few years ago, my friend *Kim started dating a guy.  We shall call him *Albert.  The relationship between them started out wonderfully.  After leaving their first date, she had the misfortune of getting into a car accident.  She was fine.  Her car...not so much.  Albert emerged from the vehicle behind her securing his role as knight in shining armor.  He stayed with her, and subsequently met her mother and aunt that night.

Albert followed up his chivalrous act by offering to take my friend to work while her car was out of commission.  He said he believed "it was what a man was supposed to do." Now Albert had a couple of quirks.  For one, his hair was dyed blonde and he wore blue contacts.  Think Sisqo with unnaturally blue eyes.  Yuuuuuppp, it was that bad.  We could not figure out for the life of us why a grown black man would embrace such ridiculousness.   Nevertheless, Albert had earned himself some brownie points so we were willing to overlook his blatant idolatry of the Aryan race (our first mistake). 

One night after a few weeks of dating, Albert picked Kim up to take her to a movie of his choosing.  They arrived at the theater.  He ordered their tickets at the box office window then swiftly moved to the side leaving my friend and the ticket clerk in an awkward stand-off. Apparently chivalry has an expiration date. Kim glared at him.  He donned a confused expression as she paid for the tickets and mentally threw daggers at his blue contacts. 

Kim waited until he dropped her off to chew him out.  His excuse?  He had previously stated that he didn't get paid that week and "assumed" that she was taking care of the date (even though he asked her out and picked the movie).  Albert felt so bad that he borrowed money from his mother the next day and paid Kim back...for one ticket. Their relationship ended abruptly. To this day, we both chuckle at any mention of "the bluest eye".