50 Ways to Say Goodbye

What do you do when your mother bumps into the ex who left you brokenhearted and abandoned like roadkill on an interstate? Ditch your lunch?  Cry your eyes out?  Take up kickboxing with a full body cutout of him on a punching bag?  These are all viable options.  I'm also a fan of finding humor in the situation.  Train's 50 Ways to Say Goodbye seems to do just that.

Ok.  So in the video it's a friend who finds Pat Monahan sans girlfriend in a grocery store (I took liberties, but it's sort of similar, right?)  Pat creates elaborate lies to avoid the awkward "we broke up" conversation.  The catchy chorus has inspired an imaginary mariachi band to take residence in my brain for the past three days.  Each time I think about the aforementioned scenario (or get bored from someone's incessant talking), I hear:

That's cool but if my friends ask where you are I'm gonna say

Alright, so it might be a little juvenile.  But who says heartbreak has to be so morose?  I'm sure I'm not alone when I say that I hate crying.  The red eyes, runny make up and contorted facial expressions set me into a deeper depression.  That doesn't stop the waterworks when I'm heartbroken.  I find that a little fun helps me get through that initial rough patch. At present I'm on the fence between telling people he "fell in a cement mixture full of quick sand" or "got run over by a crappy purple Scion".  Decisions, decisions.


S/n:  4:26 "Rack City B****" = Hilarious

A Decent Proposal



So tonight I saw Train in concert.  Michael Franti and the Spearheads, one of their opening acts, brought a couple up on stage and the man proposed to his pregnant girlfriend.  This was the second concert where I witnessed a proposal.  Ironically, the last was at another Train concert during their performance of "Marry Me".  How apropos.

Excitement filled the arena; however, I just couldn't get there.  The gesture was sweet and awe-inspiring - a sign that romance is not dead.  But my chest sank a bit while my mind wondered, "will it ever happen for me?"  Suddenly I remembered feeling this way at another point in my life - during my pre-teen years when all of my friends started developing.  The answer to that question is the same now as it was then...a solid yes! 

Sometimes when we're single it seems like the rest of the world is in "plus one" paradise.  Hand holding, back pocket grabbing and other *PDA's become our enemies because it reminds of companionship we once had (or hope to have).  Usually this is where my internal guilt alarm turns on (due to all those years of Catholic school I'm sure).  I really want to be happy for those other people, I do.  But my heart longs a little more than usual to find that special someone.

Cheesy as it sounds, I immediately start working to get myself out of that funk.  Tonight I clapped loudly for the couple on stage because it truly was a touching moment.  Other times I listen to an upbeat song that gives me an energy boost.  An even simpler solution is quietly saying to myself, "it'll happen when you least expect it".  Since telepathy typically isn't sited as a way of finding Prince Charming, thinking about my relationship status ad nauseum is pointless.  The next step is to move forward.  Besides, I get a huge kick out of smooching frogs for the time being any way ;-)


Pop quiz.  Name this movie: "I've been dating since I was fifteen. I'm exhausted.  Where is he?" 

 * public displays of affection