Smooching Frogs made another appearance on Real Talk 360 with Julio Jordan & Ricardo (Tag) Nieves. Champ Willie Monroe Jr. was also featured on the show. Great times with great people. Willie is on his way to the TOP! Take a look (Real Talk 360 begins at about 1:00:00)
Alright ladies and gentlemen, it's time to have a little fun. Ever go out with someone who totally made you flip your dating game? I mean the type of experience that shuts you down temporarily then reincarnates you into a silent but deadly dating ninja. Or maybe just a paranoid freak (we don't judge here). Well I'm here to tell you, you are not alone. I've compiled a few stories I've heard along the way that have refined the dating skills of these women...or ruined it for any men that cross their paths. You decide!
The Penny Pincher - Back in "Halfsies Reloaded", I talked about my friend *Sharon's experience with a gentleman who expected her to "pay the b***" on their first date. Mortified, humiliated and downright depressed, Sharon went on a dating hiatus. She feared that things might get worse and she just didn't want to chance it. For a while, we spent Saturday nights together. Then reality struck. We realized that men weren't going to mysteriously appear on our doorsteps. On her next date, she was fully prepared...she brought a wad of cash. When the waitress came with the check, anxiety overtook her. Luckily this guy was more chivalrous than the last. Sharon still brings back up money with her for all dates just in case, which is a great best practice for dating anyway. Something good came out of her experience and she hasn't had to wash dishes to pay her tab yet.
Neither a Borrower nor a Lender Be - Another friend of mine dated a guy (we'll call him Sam) who had no qualms about asking to borrow money. They were pretty young when they dated and forged a friendship afterward. Unfortunately, embedded within that friendships were little flecks of jealousy and resentment from when they were together. My friend looked past that because of all they'd been through together. About six years ago, Sam found himself in a bind (as he often times did) and asked to borrow a couple hundred in cash. She loaned it to him with little hesitation. Sam found out that she was dating someone else shortly after borrowing the money. Instead of paying her back, he asked her to meet him somewhere then stole her phone. He proceeded to call or text each male he found in her phone to confront them until she suspended her service. To date, he still has not paid her. Her new golden rule is any guy she dates has to make more money than her. While I've not adopted that philosophy, it's understandable.
I'd Like to Make a Return - What are the return policies at auctions? Do they have one year, 30 day or are all sales final? While attending a professional networking event, I met *Jean. Jean and I struck up a conversation about dating auctions. Apparently, Jean met her ex-boyfriend by bidding on him at an auction. They had a whirlwind romance until he decided to go all "thug life" on her and ended up in jail. She now avoids auctions as a whole because she's afraid of what she's going to end up with.
Burn Baby Burn - Okay, this one hits a little closer to home. I've alluded in previous posts about a maniac mystery man from my past. After my ex-husband and I split up, I went out on a date with a guy that I knew through some mutual friends. No one told me he was CRAZY, DERANGED. Nope. Me and my car had to learn that the hard way. After communicating with him for a few weeks, I realized that something was off so I ended things. Facing rejection was something my suitor would not accept. He flew off the deep end - threatening me, sending harassing text messages and posting subliminal messages on Facebook all in one day. That night, my best friend and I woke up to several police officers and firemen at my door. My car was on fire! This is the extreme cliff notes version of the story; however, I learned to never EVER give my address out on the first date. I also park my car out of common view when I meet people to avoid anything like that ever happening again. ***More details to come on this experience at a later date***
So you see ladies, one really can ruin it for everybody. Or help you grow depending on how you look at it. What stories do you have to tell?
Let me preface this post by saying I LOVE this movie. There is such a realness to the way it approaches our reactions to men and relationships. One of the topics explored is how we seek the support of our friends to validate our feelings. We all do it - tell our friends about how he didn't call when he said he would, or how weird he's been acting lately. Then we look our friends square in the face and say, "What do you think?"
Now that's a loaded question if I've ever seen (or asked) one. We don't want to hear that we've been blown off or that the guy we are dating is a jerk. Most times when we are hurt or unsure, we want our friends to make it okay. We want to be the "exception" and not the "rule". This was a novel concept and eye opener from HJNTIY. Listening to our friends regale us with stories of how they once knew a person in our same situation who eventually rode off into the sunset with her man gives us hope. Unfortunately, this is usually the exception and not the rule.
Of course I want to be the exception dammit
Why in the world would we want to feel rejected or hurt? It sucks to think that we've been summarily dismissed by the object of our affection. Unfortunately, the truth hurts sometimes. Having our friends mask that only delays the inevitable. Facing dreaded emotions will only make us stronger in the long run. I am not saying to avoid using your friends as a sounding board, but remember: rules are far more common than exceptions.