Behind the Music - Ludacris

Picture from star-currency.forbes.com.

A few nights ago, I watched "Behind the Music" on VH1.  The episode featured Chris Bridges, better known by his stage name Ludacris.  I was actually surprised that he had some depth.  Then again, with lyrics like "you's a ho" and "I got hoes in different area codes", my expectations weren't too high to begin with...but I digress.

Anyway, the reason why I'm even telling you about this is because as I watched it, I developed a mini crush on him.  He is handsome, well-spoken, driven and lost his father prematurely (which is something I can relate to).  My DVR must have gotten tired of recording the same shows over and over because I don't recall setting it to record this one.  Either my cable box is possessed, or Ludacris and I were meant to be.

On second thought, this is probably how psycho celebrity stalkers start out.  Today I'm forming superficial connections with him.  Tomorrow I'll be sending him love letters made completely out of magazine clippings and picking out potential baby names.  I should probably get over my little crush while I'm still sane.

That is all.

Speaking of Crushes...

After watching the movie "Red", I totally understand the bromance between men and Bruce Willis.  Seriously if I were a dude, I would want to be Bruce Willis too.  I would have some sort of a tagline.  Like when people asked me what I did for a living I'd say, "Kick ass and take names!"  

S/n:  John Malkovich was freaking hilarious.  Helen Mirren did a wonderful job too.  Definitely a suave, classy action movie.  Maybe I can add "action flick aficionado" to my list of positive attributes.

That is all.

50 Ways to Say Goodbye

What do you do when your mother bumps into the ex who left you brokenhearted and abandoned like roadkill on an interstate? Ditch your lunch?  Cry your eyes out?  Take up kickboxing with a full body cutout of him on a punching bag?  These are all viable options.  I'm also a fan of finding humor in the situation.  Train's 50 Ways to Say Goodbye seems to do just that.

Ok.  So in the video it's a friend who finds Pat Monahan sans girlfriend in a grocery store (I took liberties, but it's sort of similar, right?)  Pat creates elaborate lies to avoid the awkward "we broke up" conversation.  The catchy chorus has inspired an imaginary mariachi band to take residence in my brain for the past three days.  Each time I think about the aforementioned scenario (or get bored from someone's incessant talking), I hear:

That's cool but if my friends ask where you are I'm gonna say

Alright, so it might be a little juvenile.  But who says heartbreak has to be so morose?  I'm sure I'm not alone when I say that I hate crying.  The red eyes, runny make up and contorted facial expressions set me into a deeper depression.  That doesn't stop the waterworks when I'm heartbroken.  I find that a little fun helps me get through that initial rough patch. At present I'm on the fence between telling people he "fell in a cement mixture full of quick sand" or "got run over by a crappy purple Scion".  Decisions, decisions.

S/n:  4:26 "Rack City B****" = Hilarious