Random Rant: I HATE Calling Customer Service

Have you ever been greeted by a company's virtual operator who "promises" to take care of your issue?  All you have to do is say what you need help with.  Go on.  Tell her.

Only she doesn't recognize your voice...ever.  My calls usually go a little something like this.

Virtual Susie: "Thank you for calling.  Tell me what you're calling about today.  For example, if you need 'refrigerator help' say 'refrigerator'."
Me: "Refrigerator."
Virtual Susie: "I'm sorry.  I didn't catch that."
Me [louder]: "Refrigerator."
Virtual Susie: "I'm sorry.  Please say that..."
Virtual Susie: "I'm having trouble understanding you.  Let me get you to someone who can help."
Me: "That's what you should have done to begin with."
Virtual Susie: "Ha!"

Okay.  Maybe she didn't actually laugh at me.  But I felt like she did.  Once Susie's done jerking me around, she gets me to a live operator.  Ashley.  Yeah...Ashley.  Except her real name is Madhavi.  I have no problem with the name Madhavi.  Just tell me the truth.  All of this deception over a friggin' refrigerator.  Americans are smart enough to pronounce your name correctly.  Then again...Ashley's fine.

Madhavi Ashley: "Hello.  Thank you for calling today.  How can I help you?"
Me: "My refrigerator's not working."
Madhavi Ashley: "I'm so sorry to hear that.  I will do everything in my power to help you today.  What seems to be going on?"
Me: "The alarm keeps going off, the temperature keeps rising...[long drawn out explanation of the problem ensues]"
Madhavi Ashley: "I see.  Well, I am unable to assist with this problem in my department, but I will get you to someone who can help you."

...and the saga continues. 

Got any crazy customer service war stories?  Tell us about it below.

Frog Smooching At Its Finest

Kermit the Frog kissing Queen Latifah with Miss Piggy on the left

Kermit the Frog kissing Queen Latifah with Miss Piggy on the left

If you're going to smooch a frog, what better one to smooch than the hottest, smoothest, most talented amphibian out there.  That's right.  I'm talking about the one, the only, Kermit the Frog.

Kermit & Miss Piggy visited the Queen Latifah show on the release day of "Muppets Most Wanted".  As you can see from the picture above, Kermit got his smooch on with the Queen, while Miss Piggy carefully observed from two feet away.

Speaking of Miss Piggy, I had an epiphany while watching the movie this weekend.  She is a grade A, bona fide hood chick.  Hear me out now.  She rocks a different hairstyle with clothes to match every time you see her.  She wears fake lashes. She's beyond reasoning...even if her logic is completely nonsensical.  And she's ready to fight for (or with) her man at a moment's notice.  Don't make her mad because she is proof that a woman scorned, regardless of ethnicity (or in this case species) is nothing to mess with.  Unfortunately, she allows Kermit to string her along without any real commitment.  Hmmm...

Movie review for "Muppets Most Wanted" coming soon.