Have you ever been greeted by a company's virtual operator who "promises" to take care of your issue? All you have to do is say what you need help with. Go on. Tell her.
Only she doesn't recognize your voice...ever. My calls usually go a little something like this.
Virtual Susie: "Thank you for calling. Tell me what you're calling about today. For example, if you need 'refrigerator help' say 'refrigerator'."
Me: "Refrigerator."
Virtual Susie: "I'm sorry. I didn't catch that."
Me [louder]: "Refrigerator."
Virtual Susie: "I'm sorry. Please say that..."
Me: "REFRIGERATOR DAMMIT."
Virtual Susie: "I'm having trouble understanding you. Let me get you to someone who can help."
Me: "That's what you should have done to begin with."
Virtual Susie: "Ha!"
Okay. Maybe she didn't actually laugh at me. But I felt like she did. Once Susie's done jerking me around, she gets me to a live operator. Ashley. Yeah...Ashley. Except her real name is Madhavi. I have no problem with the name Madhavi. Just tell me the truth. All of this deception over a friggin' refrigerator. Americans are smart enough to pronounce your name correctly. Then again...Ashley's fine.
Madhavi Ashley: "Hello. Thank you for calling today. How can I help you?"
Me: "My refrigerator's not working."
Madhavi Ashley: "I'm so sorry to hear that. I will do everything in my power to help you today. What seems to be going on?"
Me: "The alarm keeps going off, the temperature keeps rising...[long drawn out explanation of the problem ensues]"
Madhavi Ashley: "I see. Well, I am unable to assist with this problem in my department, but I will get you to someone who can help you."
...and the saga continues.
Got any crazy customer service war stories? Tell us about it below.
