Am I Ready?

Alright ladies and gents, I have to tell you...post break-up dating can be one of the most nerve racking experiences ever.  Getting yourself out there is scary enough.  Remembering your potential's quirks and having them remember yours (e.g. "Yes, I do like to sing made up songs at the top of my lungs at 2am.  Doesn't everybody?")  can leave you anxious.  There is also the back and forth about whether he really likes you.  But the big question is are you ready?

I have an impending date this weekend.  Our plans were finalized this afternoon and suddenly I became antsy.  I phoned a good friend of mine to help with my nerves, but that only made it worse.  The aforementioned question plagued me for the rest of the day. 

There isn't a conclusion to this story as of yet.  I would have to say, though, that crouching down in your office with heart palpitations while pleading with a friend to play third wheel like you're a teenager again means that you're probably not ready. Yikes!!!

First Dates and Bail Money

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About a year and half ago I spent my birthday in Atlanta, GA.  My cousin offered up her mom's house, and I did the tourist thing.  As I exited the train station closest to my cousin's house, I spotted the cutest guy!  I mentioned before that I'm not the greatest with pick up lines.  We exchanged glances as we walked past each other.  I turned around and there he was staring at me.  The ATL air must have been polluted with bravery because there I was getting ready to go in for the kill.

I approached my potential beau and boldly said, "Can I take your picture?  Because they don't make them like you where I come from."  He smiled flashing me a gorgeous set of teeth.  After taking the picture, he asked if we could exchange phone numbers.

We text each other that night.  He called the next morning to wish me a happy birthday then sent me a picture of his perfectly chiseled torso.  Under normal circumstances, this behavior warrants Shania Twain's "That Don't Impress Me Much" to blare in all areas of my mind...but I was on vacation! 

My sweetheart and I made plans to see each other the next day.  He played semi-pro football and had a game that night.  I attempted to call him the next day but went straight to voice mail.  I called a bit later with the same result.  My cousin urged me to keep calling until he picked up (I HAD shown her a picture after all).  However, chasing a guy down relentlessly is not my style.  I flew back home that Monday without communicating with him again. 

As I showered that Tuesday morning, my spidey sense tingled.  Something inside me said, "You're going to hear from him today."  I was working the evening shift at a grueling job back then.  I glanced at my phone mid-shift and saw a text from my ATL sweetheart apologizing for his disappearing act.  He went on to explain that he was arrested that Saturday night which is why we were unable to get together.

I thought to myself, "Of all the excuses he could have possibly given, this is certainly the most pathetic."  Au contraire!  Because of my busy schedule I had not paid much attention to his message. Upon further review, it was actually a picture message of his release papers from jail and the text was simply a description. At least I know he was being truthful!

We never spoke again. 

I'm Sexy and I Know It

Oh the embarrassing things we do to create sex appeal.  Don't know what I'm talking about?  Puckering your lips in the camera, taking and retaking photos until you're pinup perfect or putting George Michael's "Careless Whisper" on repeat to create "the mood" are just a few examples. 

What I've found is that when I try hard to fit into someone else's vision of sexiness, it generally tends to backfire.  An ex-boyfriend of mine once told me that he thought it was sexy when a woman crawled slowly on the bed like a cat.  That seemed simple enough.  A few days later, I turned off the lights and proceeded to turn on my feline flare.  Suddenly my knee had nowhere to go and I felt myself twisting off of the bed.  It seemed to happen in slow motion, but there was nothing I could do to stop it.

I realized that forced attempts at what others perceived as being sexy just didn't work for me.  I'm quirky and goofy and can't cat crawl to save my life.  It's who I am and I've accepted that.  Receiving compliments about my smarts and determination are the biggest "I'm Sexy and I Know It" moments for me.

Being myself is comfortable, free, and I won't end up on the floor next to the bed ;-)

Do you have an embarrassing LMFAO moment?  Share it in the comments below!