Repost: The One Who Ruins It For Everybody

Alright ladies and gentlemen, it's time to have a little fun.  Ever go out with someone who totally made you flip your dating game?  I mean the type of experience that shuts you down temporarily then reincarnates you into a silent but deadly dating ninja.  Or maybe just a paranoid freak (we don't judge here).  Well I'm here to tell you, you are not alone.  I've compiled a few stories I've heard along the way that have refined the dating skills of these women...or ruined it for any men that cross their paths.  You decide!

Picture from notsalmon.com

The Penny Pincher - Back in "Halfsies Reloaded", I talked about my friend *Sharon's experience with a gentleman who expected her to "pay the b***" on their first date.  Mortified, humiliated and downright depressed, Sharon went on a dating hiatus.  She feared that things might get worse and she just didn't want to chance it.  For a while, we spent Saturday nights together.  Then reality struck.  We realized that men weren't going to mysteriously appear on our doorsteps. On her next date, she was fully prepared...she brought a wad of cash.  When the waitress came with the check, anxiety overtook her.  Luckily this guy was more chivalrous than the last.  Sharon still brings back up money with her for all dates just in case, which is a great best practice for dating anyway.  Something good came out of her experience and she hasn't had to wash dishes to pay her tab yet. 

Neither a Borrower nor a Lender Be - Another friend of mine dated a guy (we'll call him Sam) who had no qualms about asking to borrow money.  They were pretty young when they dated and forged a friendship afterward.  Unfortunately, embedded within that friendships were little flecks of jealousy and resentment from when they were together.  My friend looked past that because of all they'd been through together.  About six years ago, Sam found himself in a bind (as he often times did) and asked to borrow a couple hundred in cash.  She loaned it to him with little hesitation.  Sam found out that she was dating someone else shortly after borrowing the money.  Instead of paying her back, he asked her to meet him somewhere then stole her phone.  He proceeded to call or text each male he found in her phone to confront them until she suspended her service.  To date, he still has not paid her.  Her new golden rule is any guy she dates has to make more money than her.  While I've not adopted that philosophy, it's understandable.

I'd Like to Make a Return -  What are the return policies at auctions?  Do they have one year, 30 day or are all sales final?  While attending a professional networking event, I met *Jean.  Jean and I struck up a conversation about dating auctions.  Apparently, Jean met her ex-boyfriend by bidding on him at an auction.  They had a whirlwind romance until he decided to go all "thug life" on her and ended up in jail.  She now avoids auctions as a whole because she's afraid of what she's going to end up with.

Burn Baby Burn - Okay, this one hits a little closer to home.  I've alluded in previous posts about a maniac mystery man from my past.  After my ex-husband and I split up, I went out on a date with a guy that I knew through some mutual friends.  No one told me he was CRAZY, DERANGED.  Nope.  Me and my car had to learn that the hard way.  After communicating with him for a few weeks, I realized that something was off so I ended things.  Facing rejection was something my suitor would not accept.  He flew off the deep end - threatening me, sending harassing text messages and posting subliminal messages on Facebook all in one day.  That night, my best friend and I woke up to several police officers and firemen at my door.  My car was on fire!  This is the extreme cliff notes version of the story; however, I learned to never EVER give my address out on the first date.  I also park my car out of common view when I meet people to avoid anything like that ever happening again.  ***More details to come on this experience at a later date***

So you see ladies, one really can ruin it for everybody.  Or help you grow depending on how you look at it.  What stories do you have to tell?

Repost: Military Maniac

I love a man in a uniform!  Something about a disciplined man with a crisp suit and badges drives me crazy (in a good way).  When the opportunity presented itself for me to go out on a date with one, I jumped at it.  Anything for my country, right?

Photo from dateswithkate.com where this story was shared as a guest post.

He wanted to pick me up from my house. Through an unfortunate series of events, I was already privy to the dangers of giving my address out to a complete stranger.  I offered to meet him and we decided on a movie.  After the movie, we went out for food and drinks.  Our conversation began with the normal pleasantries.  Then somewhere along the lines it took a turn for the worst.

My first clue that this was headed for disaster was when he revealed his dating philosophy. He stated that he and I were not on a date.  It was simply a friendly outing because he only wanted to go out on dates with his future girlfriend...whoever she may be.  He went on to tell me that he was tired of damaged women, then used me as an example!  Apparently my refusal to give him my address translated to me projecting my "men" issues onto him.

I explained in great detail why I did not give him my address.  With an appalled expression he replied, "I don't think I would have told that on the first date."  Mentally I summoned the waitress to bring the check.  Unfortunately, telepathy was not a part of her job description. 

We ventured further into our conversation for reasons that can only be explained by my alcohol consumption.  At some point, I made a statement that he did not agree with.  He responded by telling me that women don't listen.  He went on to say that women have never listened which is why God cursed them.  It was official.  This date was going down in the books, and I was going home!

Later that night, I received a text from him:

        MM:  I wanted to kiss you tonight.

        Me: I didn't feel that same way. 

I toyed with the idea of suggesting that he trade his uniform in for a straitjacket.  Two days later he received his pink slip via text message, and I never heard from the Military Maniac again.  

A Selfie to Keep to Yourself

Yup.  That's me in the jacket & sequins sock covers...

A couple of years ago during my first tryst with online dating, I had a little trouble getting my sea legs under me.  Communicating with individuals that I didn't know seemed so awkward.  Who should initiate the conversation?  What's proper protocol to interact with someone online?  How many times should I tolerate blatant assassination of the English language before emailing a link to merriamwebster.com?

It all felt so overwhelming.  Then I saw a guy who caught my eye.  His profile picture showed him to be tall and handsome with caramel colored skin and short, curly, black hair.  Spelling & grammar did not allude him as his profile was perfectly written.  I had two mental fainting spells before sending him a message.

We chatted a bit online before exchanging phone numbers, and transitioning to text messages.  His name was Michael.  Michael Gabrielle.  "What a beautiful name," I commented.  I really did love his name.  So much so that I felt it apropos to divulge my love of MJ to him.   Without further prompting, I sent him a photo of myself dressed up in a "Thriller" costume for Halloween.  In my defense, I thought it would be a great ice breaker - demonstrating that I was the perfect blend of brains, beauty and humor.  Unfortunately, it gave off more of a "sideshow freak" vibe.  I never heard from him again.

On the brighter side of things, I certainly know what NOT to do in the future.  Although my learning didn't help me here.