My Phone Number Hasn't Changed, But I Have

 Photo from npr.org

Photo from npr.org

Imagine sitting on your couch watching [insert favorite show here] .  You receive a text from a familiar yet unknown number and soon discover your mystery messenger is actually an ex that  you have not been in contact with for quite some time.  After a brief conversation, you find that he is the exact same person he was when you were together years ago...and you're not.

That moment can yield feelings of validation, vindication or victory.  Whatever the flavor, it probably doesn't leave butterflies floating in your tum.  Once upon a time you were compatible with this person, but now it seems like you are speaking different languages.  I found myself in this situation recently and it sparked some interesting inner dialogue.

Seven years ago I was a completely different person than I am today.  Seven years from now, I anticipate that I will undergo several more transformations.  Continuous growth is a conscious decision for both men and women.  Improving the quality of your life and moving forward is nothing to feel bad about.  The tricky part can be conveying that message to an old flame, but the beauty is you don't have to. 

Your time, energy and effort are valuable.  You do not "owe" them to anyone simply because they were a part of your past.  The moment of truth for me came down to simple math: 12 hours of my day are spent preparing for work, working and winding down + 3 hours for household chores and family time + 2 hours for miscellaneous activities (errands, writing, talking to friends and family).  There is very little time in my life to be wasted.  Moments of nostalgia are nice every once in a while and it is 'A' okay to leave it at just that.

S/n:  The downside of keeping the same number is that my ex's bill collectors are calling me. Grrrr....