"Oop." A high pitched squeal escaped my throat when the above message appeared on my phone. My best friend sent it to me. Of course she knew the answer to that question. Wasn't it just last week?
The message itself resonated with me. Funny how someone can come into your life as a game changer for sure, but still not be the one. During their reign, it certainly feels like they're the one. Especially if they learn as well as teach. Listen as well as share. Love as well as receive love. Do all (or most) of the things that you wish others would. Yes, that is the perfect recipe for "the one".
Only...what if it's not? What can be dangerous about meeting someone who we believe to be our soul mate is that we dismiss critical signs because of a belief that "it's meant to be". Unreturned phone calls, neglectful behaviors, and even cheating are rationalized for the sake of being with this person. Don't get me wrong, compromises need to be made in any relationship. However, one should never compromise who they are or accept behavior that makes him or her uncomfortable or miserable. The truth of the matter is a deal breaker is a deal breaker.
Losing someone who you had a strong connection or believed you had a solid foundation with can be one of the most excruciating heartbreaks one can experience. You are not alone. Let me say it again. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. While the pain might feel unbearable, this too shall pass. My father always said, "don't focus on the mistake, focus on the lesson." Believe it or not, your relationship with this person is an invaluable learning experience. It is likely you will find yourself head over heels for another mate who is also a kindred spirit. Your "lesson" can help you take a more logical approach toward the relationship. Sure, he might give you butterflies and be able to finish your sentences. He might even help you to become a better person, but that's not always enough. Contrary to what many people think and believe, love DOESN'T hurt.
Out of seven billion people on God's green earth, it is likely that you will find someone else who contains the qualities you are looking for without the excess baggage. Be patient.
Happy smooching!
