Today's Thought Stream

I took a walk today and my random thoughts amused me so I decided to share.  Enjoy! 

 What a beautiful day it is...

Is that a raccoon or a possum?  Either way I need to cross the street... 

Wow, that guy really turned around just to get my number.  Him : "My name is Doug* but people call me Frenchie."  Hmmm...like the Pink Lady from Grease?  Thanks but no thanks.  I'm flattered though.  I'll take your number to be nice. ..

That dog doesn't have a leash and he has one of those cone things on his neck...invisible fence my ass...I'm turning around before I become Rex's dinner... 

What is up with all those Hallmark movies?  Single mom meets beautiful handsome stranger and they live happily ever after. Blah... 

Finally home.  I should have about six activity points to eat up later.  Niiiiice... 

*Names were changed to protect the, well, not-so-guilty. 

The Berger Episodes

                        "I'm sorry. I can't. Don't hate me."​

I am a HUGE "Sex and the City" fan.  I own all six seasons of the show and the first movie on DVD.  Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda have an imaginary fifth person sitting across the diner table from them on Saturday nights...moi.

In any event, Carrie's relationship with Jack Berger during season five was made infamous by his departure.  Berger, a fellow writer, broke up with Carrie on a post-it note.  Bet 3M didn't see a boost in sales that month.  The aforementioned episode took place in 2002.  Since then, technology and cowardice have skyrocketed.  Who needs post-its when you can send a break up text?

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the top five most cowardly ways to break up with a person

1. "It's not you, it's me" - Ok, it's almost always the "you" in this situation.  Telling someone that their toes stink probably isn't the most tactful thing to say during a break up.  Try "I just don't think we're compatible" instead. 
2.  "I'm moving to..." - seriously?  Who does that? 
3. Voicemail - thank god he/she didn't answer the phone.
4. Email - well thought out, spell checked, and rude.  Wonder what goes in the subject line... 
5. Text message (SMS) - the most cowardly way to go.  SMS stands for short messaging service.  It is a quick and easy way to communicate with people when you cannot (or don't want to) talk to them.  They haven't invented emoticons strong enough to express my abhorrence for break up texts.

Take it from me, tact and honesty are the best way to go when it comes to break ups. I learned this lesson the hard way.  More to come on that at a later date ;-)

My New Flag System

​Picture from thelittleblackblogofbigredflags.blogspot.com.

A friend of mine called me out of the blue this weekend saying that she knew a guy who seemed perfect for me.  At the very least she believed that we would become good friends.  I have always been kind of weary of matchmaking.  However, as she *forced* me to stalk his Facebook page for proof that he really was a decent guy, I realized that I kind of liked what I saw.

She did the ping pong thing which led to a lengthy phone conversation between me and *Mr. X*.  After we hung up, my mind began turning.  On a scale of 1 - 10, how did I feel about the conversation?  Was I interested?  Was he interested?  While I couldn't answer any of those questions, the spirit of randomness came upon me (as it regularly does) and I developed a flag system.  Enjoy!

Warning: Exposure to the inner workings of my mind can be humorous, shocking, and somewhat dangerous.  Reader discretion is advised.

Red Flag: Stop. Immediately.  Do not pass 'Go'. Do not collect $200. 

 White Flag: Give up. Stop while you're ahead

Orange Flag: Ummmm, that reminds me of those neon orange vests that the safety captains at my old job wore during fire drills.  I think I'll pass on orange. 

Green Flag: It's a go...or in my best friend's world - start the wedding planning immediately.  I'm almost 30 and my biological clock is ticking. 

Yellow Flag: Proceed with caution.  This one is my favorite by far.

I'm keeping my flags.  Still don't know about the guy though...