The Berger Episodes

                        "I'm sorry. I can't. Don't hate me."

                        "I'm sorry. I can't. Don't hate me."

I am a HUGE "Sex and the City" fan.  I own all six seasons of the show and the first movie on DVD.  Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda have an imaginary fifth person sitting across the diner table from them on Saturday nights...moi.

In any event, Carrie's relationship with Jack Berger during season five was made infamous by his departure.  Berger, a fellow writer, broke up with Carrie on a post-it note.  Bet 3M didn't see a boost in sales that month.  The aforementioned episode took place in 2002.  Since then, technology and cowardice have skyrocketed.  Who needs post-its when you can send a break up text?

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the top five most cowardly ways to break up with a person

  1. "It's not you, it's me" - Ok, it's almost always the "you" in this situation.  Telling someone that their toes stink probably isn't the most tactful thing to say during a break up.  Try "I just don't think we're compatible" instead. 
  2.  "I'm moving to..." - seriously?  Who does that? 
  3. Voicemail - thank god he/she didn't answer the phone.
  4. Email - well thought out, spell checked, and rude.  Wonder what goes in the subject line... 
  5. Text message (SMS) - the most cowardly way to go.  SMS stands for short messaging service.  It is a quick and easy way to communicate with people when you cannot (or don't want to) talk to them.  They haven't invented emoticons strong enough to express my abhorrence for break up texts.

Take it from me, tact and honesty are the best way to go when it comes to break ups. I learned this lesson the hard way.  More to come on that at a later date ;-)