The Availability of Unavailable Men

Over the past few months, my friends and I have had men knocking our doors down trying to get our attention.  This seems like a good thing, right?  Unfortunately, most of these men are married or otherwise attached.  One of my friends confronted her suitor about his relationship and he responded with, "I have a hall pass".  Seriously sir?!

It seems that more and more unavailable men are making themselves available to women outside of their relationships.  Their approach can be disarming and seemingly innocent.  Here are some of the common reasons men say that they are seeking your companionship:

  • He has poor communication with his significant other
  • He does not love her anymore
  • She cheated on him and he cannot get over it
  • You have fascinating qualities and he is intrigued
  • He can see himself moving forward with you, but not in his current relationship
  • He believes his significant other is not enlightened enough to truly appreciate his skills and talents

Ladies, this is something that we need to administer extra doses of caution on.  It is easy for us to say to ourselves, "I must be special if he's choosing me".   Wrong!  This might sound good.  You might be in a vulnerable state and believe what you are being told.  Every time I think about this, the song "What's So Different" by R&B singer Ginuwine pops into my head.  The song's message is if a person is looking to cheat on their significant other, how do you know that they won't do the same thing to you.  Chances are they probably will.  A general rule of thumb is if he said "I do", it's up to you to say "I don't".


(The phrase "availability of unavailable men" was coined by Kendra S. White).