Did you know that Oprah Winfrey spent nights alone waiting by her phone in her 20's? Specifically, she didn't take her trash out on weekends or run bath water for fear that she would miss a man's call. Looking at Oprah now, she is a pillar of strength. An iconic role model that elicits respect and admiration from a multitude of people. I don't know about anyone else, but I find comfort in knowing that even Oprah has smooched a few frogs in her day.
The lesson here sounds so simple yet it is so profound: "When someone shows you who they are, believe them?" How many times have you heard someone say things like, "I'm selfish, I'm mean, I'm crazy". And just as Maya Angelou said, we are all too happy to coddle them and find reasons why they are not. Others are not as insightful or up front about their shortcomings; however, should we still take heed to this lesson? Absolutely.
This is a popular phrase that many have already heard. We may have even repeated it a time or two. Knowledge and execution are two different things. I first heard this phrase a few years ago. I loved it and was able to recall different situations in my life where executing it would have saved me some heartache. Have I fallen into the trap of not believing who a person was since then? YES! Do I still struggle with it now? YES! Truly executing Dr. Angelou's advice is difficult. When we build relationships with people, it's hard to let go. We have placed time, energy, and love into these people. They have become a part of us. Suffering a loss is painful even when it is voluntary.
Applying this advice right at the beginning of your relationships is a good way to avoid the heartache later. If someone (man or woman) is showing signs of being disloyal or untrustworthy, believe them. Do not excuse the bad behavior. By making excuses, we are only setting ourselves up for a lot of pain in the long run.