Danity Kane made the term "damaged" seem so tantalizing. Feeling damaged after a relationship is complex. No one wants to feel like the groceries left on the back of the counter at the supermarket. There's nothing sexy about that! Emotional distress can feel overwhelming. Our psyche tends to deal with it in a few different ways:
Denial:
Because the idea of bei ng damaged goods is not romantic or sexy, we deny the heartbreak even had an effect on us. We might have cried for weeks, ditched meals or even made a drastic change such as cutting off all of our hair. However, we refuse to accept ourselves in our current state.
Damsel in Distress:
Another reaction to being damaged after the conclusion of a relationship is to ham it up. Telling every man we see how the last guy did us wrong and hoping that they will pick up the pieces is fantastical. DK does one thing that I most certainly do not agree with - they ask for the new love interest to "fix it". It is not up to anyone else to make us whole again. We are solely responsible for own emotional stability.
Dammit I'm Damaged:
Better known as acceptance, this is when we embrace the idea of being damaged. Acceptance can be different for everyone. I, for instance, plan on donning a sign with pictures of dented cans and "AS IS" printed in bold letters. A good rule of thumb for accepting ourselves in this state is understanding that it is only temporary. This is a good time to reflect on the lessons learned from our previous relationship. Hopefully we will remember to apply them in the next one.
"Damaged" is one of my go to songs when I'm feeling blue. It's upbeat, positive, and keeps me dancing. I love the way Diddy offers encouraging words of advice at the end of the song. Everything that he says is true...yet I cannot help but think about the shenanigans he has pulled over the years to damage women. Think I might have found my next Celebrity Frogs feature.
